Brokeback Mountain

An Essay by Brian Donahoo

It is not very often that a movie moves me. Feature films are often too dramatic, too made up, to unreal. The movie Brokeback Mountain is an exception. Brokeback Mountain is a raw, realistic look into the lives of two men who fall in love at a time when that type love is unmentionable. The simple dialog and the long periods of silence were unnerving at first. As the characters develop the actors filled these silent times with body language and facial expressions that filled in the gaps perfectly.

The movie starts out in 1963 with Jack Twist and Enis Del Mar showing up looking for work one summer in Wyoming. They are both assigned to Brokeback Mountain to heard sheep. This first scene is difficult to watch because of the lack of dialog. Having read a few reviews and seen the trailer, I knew that they fall in love. The setting up of the stage is interesting to observe. Having grown up in a small ranching town, I can appreciate the few words that were spoken. It's a cowboy cultural thing.

As the story progresses you see a friendship beginning to kindle. Some may not see the complexity of this friendship because again few words are spoken. It is in its subtlety that Brokeback Mountain scores high marks. After a few scenes of beans on the campfire, Jack mounts his horse in silence to go work the sheep. Before he rides off he says, "No more beans." In the next scene Enis is picking up the supplies and delivering his list for the next week to the deliveryman. The deliveryman recalls from earlier conversation, "I thought you said you don't eat soup." to which Enis replies, "Yeah, well I'm sick of beans." This sacrifice of grocery supplies shows that Enis is ordering soup for Jack. It's subtle but a very real way for a man to show he cares.

These subtle exchanges soon advance into more communication between the two men. Jack asks Enis one time, "Did your brother and sister do right by you?" Enis replies with a two-minute monolog of how his life had transpired and he had come to be on Brokeback Mountain.

At the conclusion Jack is staring at Enis. Enis looks back at Jack and asks, "What?"

Jack replies, "Friend, that's the most words you've spoken in two weeks."

Enis retorts, "That's the most words I've spoken in a year." Through a smile we subtly see the connection has been established and the trust of true friends. It's this simple design that carries through the story. Ang Lee did an excellent job of directing the actors to use their expressions to convey so many messages. We continue to see the progression of the friendship that leads to one moment, one choice, one decision that will change their lives forever.

On a cold night Jack hollers at Enis to come into the tent cause the noise of his "hammerin" is keeping him awake. After some time passes, Jack reaches over and grabs Enis's hand, pulling it over his own body getting Enis to embrace him. Quickly Enis wakes up and is startled by the position he's in. The rawness of the moment was perfectly captured by Ang Lee. What ensues is a very masculine animalistic sexual encounter. This scene will probably be the most difficult for many to take because of its accurate portrayal of man-to-man sex. More than the act itself is the way that it is handled. It's not a soft lovemaking scene. It is two men that yearn for something they've never been able to before express. And Enis shows his emotions in an aggressive masculine manner.

The next morning Enis wakes up and prepares his horse to go tend the sheep. Having been on this edge before, I can appreciate the tension that is in the air that morning. Jack rises out of the tent as Enis is cocking his gun and putting in the holster. I had a fleeting thought that he could have resented the actions of the night before so much that he could have turned to anger here as another expression of emotion. Jack approaches Enis as Enis mounts his horse. "See you for supper." Jack says. Enis casts a slight glare and rides off up the mountain not speaking a word.

The imagery that follows gives the viewer the time to realize the enormity of what just transpired. Enis is riding up steep ridges, with mountainous terrain at his feet and blue sky outlining him and his horse. This moment may be lost on some people who've not lived that decision-making moment to cross the line between hetero and homosexual love, nor the emotions of shame and regret that can follow. Having lived through the choices myself, I fully appreciated the silence and scenery as Enis reflected on what had happened the night before. This was one situation where words were not necessary.

Later, on the mountain Enis approaches Jack to say that this is a one-time thing they have going on, telling Jack he's "not queer or nothing". Jack says he's not either. Together they sit in silence overlooking the sheep on the mountainside. The tranquility of this moment captures the deepness of the moment and further demonstrates the connection they share in addition to the turmoil they have about the situation.

The next scene I found even more moving. It opens with Enis sitting by the campfire and Jack in the tent preparing for bed. This time Jack has no shirt on and is laying on his back in his bedroll. Enis gets up from the campfire and walks slowly toward the tent. From inside the tent we see his hat in his hands in front of his torso in a universal cowboy, "can I come in." way. Jack sits up to greet him and welcomes him in. With no words spoken, Enis enters the tent sitting beside Jack. Jack looks at him in a very loving supportive way. He takes Enis's hat and sets it down. Then very gently and softly strokes the hair behind his ears. Softly Jack says, "It's all right..it's all right" They fall together into the bedroll; all the while Jack is softly caressing Enis. As they reach the horizontal position, Enis's head is on Jacks chest. You can see the pain and comfort Enis is feeling in his face. You can tell that he's longed for this his whole life. You know that he's sought this safety and this loving place but has never been able to speak it. The tenderness of the moment is touching and moving.

After catching the two men kissing, the boss decides to pull the men off the mountain a month early. This is a pivotal point in the development of Enis's character. Jack is not fazed by the decision, whereas Enis is clearly upset. Enis points out that Geary is cheating them out of a month's pay. However, in the next few scenes, it's clear money is not what it is about.

Enis rides up the mountain to get the sheep. We see his frustration as he rides. Next we see Jack loading up the mules, while Enis sits in a field in solitude. In this image I can really feel Enis's position. It's not about the money. It's about having to leave Brokeback Mountain and his love. I think that he would have the same reaction if it were a day early or even the full time. The solitude shown gives a clear image of Enis solace for having to leave Brokeback Mountain.

Jack approaches Enis as he's sitting in solitude. Playfully Jack ropes Enis around the chest. Enis gets up and walks away from Jack. Jack throws the rope around Enis's feet, cinching it up causing Enis to fall. It was a playful interaction meant to help Enis lighten up. However the deep emotion of the pending separation caused the playful wrestling to turn in to roughhouse, ending up with Enis getting a bloody nose and then decking Jack. It is here we can really see how torn Enis is about having to leave the mountain. To him the affair is over. He's now going to have to re-burry all the emotions he's felt and dealt with over the summer. Unable to express this in words he takes his frustration out in the wrestling match between the two. Both men displayed a great deal of emotion only using grunts and snorts during the fight. Jack was apologetic after having bumped Enis hard enough to get a bloody nose. However Enis wasn't done with that. After he decks Jack he walks away.

Once they are off the mountain, we see an exchange between the boss and the two men. He's not appreciative and rather condescending to the two. Next we see the two trying to get Jack's truck started. Once it's running Enis says, "So this is it?" It's a dry exchange of good-bye between the two leaving the viewer wondering where this is going or how it will continue. Neither shows any emotion about the separation. Jack drives off down the road watching Enis walking the middle of the road in his review mirror.

Enis makes it far enough for Jack to be out of site before he loses it. Enis ducks in an alley and breaks down. Hurt, angry, frustrated, and probably a little scared, Enis punches the wall. His sorrow is again demonstrated through masculine aggression. When a fellow walks by and stops, Enis shouts, "What the fuck are you looking at?" This display of emotion is probably a universal thing through all mankind. Feeling a loss of someone you love through personal choice has to be one of the most painful and frustrating experiences. This is clearly not what Enis wants, but society and his father have shown him this is what is to be or the result would inevitably be death. What I find interesting about the character of Enis is he's not shown a great deal of emotion before this point. It is in this moment that we get a very clear idea about how he feels about Jack.

From here the two men return to their "normal" lives. Jack goes back to rodeo and Enis marries Alma as he said he would. A period of four years passes pretty quickly. Then one day, Alma asks Enis, "Do you know a Jack?" When he asks why she tells him he's received a postcard in the mail from a Jack Twist. Enis says, "We's old fishin buddies." The postcard from Jack says that it's been too long and he wants to see Enis. A few moments pass before we are able to see how Enis feels about this contact. We get our answer when Enis goes to the post office and writes "You Bet" on the back of a postcard addressed to Jack.

The day that Jack is to arrive Enis is a nervous wreck. He's seen playing with his lighter, chain smoking and drinking a few beers while sitting at the window. When Alma suggests that they get a baby sitter, Enis replies that Jack's not much the restaurant kind, he's more the "'drinkin' type" and they'll probably want to go out and drink and talk. It's clear Enis doesn't want Alma around for their reunion. He further adds, "If he even shows." Next we see Enis asleep slouching in a chair. There are several presumed empty beer bottles on the table next to him along with a full ashtray. It's very apparent he's gotten nothing done all day except waiting for Jack. Then we hear a vehicle pull up to the building. Enis springs to attention, peeks out the window to see Jack getting out of his truck. He grins a huge grin, tucks his shirt in and races out the front door.

"Jack ‘fuckin' Twist," Enis heads down the stairs and hugs Jack. Their hug lingers a little longer than that of two straight men… and as they separate you can see they want to kiss but cannot in public. Enis pushes Jack in to a corner that is less visible and begins to aggressively kiss Jack. They are entangled in passion of seeing each other. They are so caught up in the moment they don't hear the storm door open when Alma sees them.

From this point on, we are driven back and forth between Brokeback Mountain and to their straight lives. A period of twenty years elapses with several visits a year for fishing trips. Enis's character is developed as very masculine and unyielding to his love for Jack. It's clear that it's very strong but he's never able to imagine a life together with him. At one point he says, "If this thing gets a hold of us at the wrong place, or wrong time and someone sees us we're dead." On some level he can't even speak of it as being love or passion; it's this thing that is beyond his control. The distance between this love and his public persona off the mountain is so great he can't even identify with the love when he's off the mountain.

When Enis is confronted about his "fishing' trips" by his then ex-wife Alma, he goes in to a fit of rage and storms out of the house. The next man that crosses him he decks in the truck and pulls him out to fight some more. Over the years I have met men like this. They are so incapable of speaking what they really want to say that they resort to hitting to release their frustration. In Enis's case I believe it was also a way to re-enforce his masculine image to himself. There is a lot of shame put on to men for even thinking about choosing to act on the homosexual feelings he has. To some degree we are in a better place today with Ellen, and Will and Grace. What I love about this movie is it touches on the raw emotion of a rural man who feels he has to prove himself as a man to himself because of his sexual identity.

This movie has touched me in a very personal way. The life I have chosen to live started with roots similar to that of Enis and Jack. I had a friend once that I loved. However, I cherished our friendship so much that I was unwilling to cross that line for fear of losing the friend. I can recall a time, after our friendship was deeply engrained in my consciousness, when I was lying in bed next to him. I wanted so bad to have the courage to reach over and touch his chest. Or like Jack did in the movie grab his arm and wrap it around my body. Thinking back to this moment in my life still makes my heart race. It was a pivotal moment in my life one that has stayed with me for fifteen years.

I hadn't thought about this friend in quite some years. After a failed move to Oregon to try to live up there, he and later I, returned to our hometown. Our friendship was rekindled after a few rough months. I was able to tell him that I loved him. I hoped that it was understood what I meant. The timing of my disclosure more than likely hid the true meaning of the words. Although I stopped the truck and looked directly in his eyes to tell him I loved him, it was at a time when I was also forgiving him for the decision he made to date my girlfriend. I was hurt by their decision to date, but more hurt by the lack of honesty between us. Several months later they told me they were getting married. I loved them both and told them that I had no awkward feelings. Soon after their wedding I moved to San Diego to start a life of my own. I kept in contact with them through my ex-girlfriend. Sadly over time the connections diminished. After they were divorced, I received word from her. However, I was never able to reconnect with him.

Brokeback Mountain has stirred a huge stew of emotions in me. Having been raised in the High Sierra's I know what those mountains hold. There is a tranquility of being up there, removed from everything. There is a sense of being connected to Creator, being one with the world. I've hunted and fished those mountains with my best friend. I have fallen in love with my best friend in those mountains. It was a secret love, one that I couldn't share because I was too scared of losing the friend.

Brokeback Mountain is a love story that is very real to me. It's a movie about love, pain, and loss. There are secrets we have to tell… to be able to unfold the great mystery of love. If we don't, we chance losing it all!

I was once paralyzed by my fear of losing it all. But now with nothing to lose, I've faced my fear and challenged myself to grow. Now, Creator has the wheel and I'm no longer bound. By releasing my fear to the greatness of the unknown I've opened up a world of unending possibility. What the future holds cannot be foreseen. The only thing we can do is learn by the choices we've made and make them better if presented with a new opportunity. Enis's character shows us that at the end of the movie, by choosing to be present at his daughter's wedding.

Thank you, Ang Lee, Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Linda Cardellini, and the rest of the cast and crew for making Brokeback Mountain. You've changed one life. And if that is all that has been changed you've made a huge impact. However, it would be naive to think that only one life was impacted by such a moving motion picture.